SubtlexAntidote

I feel the waves, As they come to a rest at my feet, The cold water, A nice break from the heat. I tried to tell myself, It'd all be okay. I would get to sleep, Thinking it had to be this way. I'm left with fragments, And tiny shards, Holding this deck, That has only two cards, My plan was flawless, My thoughts were true, I simply couldn't find an end, That included you. Perhaps you'd led me here, To this point of no return, Forcing me to act, Else I'd simply burn. Or maybe it was me, Had it all been my fault? Was I not ready, To gain access to the vault? I pressed you, And I pried, I pushed your buttons, As I tried, To get you to rele

I keep on going, Despite the truth, That I'm a victim, Of pessimistic youth, I kept thinking tomorrow, Would never be, That somehow the world, Truly needed me, Perhaps I was waiting, For a chance, To steal a look, Your solemn glance, Maybe you would smile, Perhaps you'd cry, I could ignore it, Or maybe try, To profess a love, That was wrong, Upon sweet gentle hymns, An irreverent song, From where I am, Where I'll be, Upon who I was, Perhaps you'd see, That, that was it, That thing there, From your playful words, And callous stare, To my broken heart, My shattered soul, The things you broke, Can't be whole.

I keep on thinking, That it'll all make sense, As if somehow, I'd see over the fence. Perhaps there's a hill, Upon which I'd see, That the future was simple, Or even a tad bumpy. Maybe the truth, That I am coming to know, Is that the future isn't something, Of which life can show. Maybe it's not determined, By what we choose to do, Perhaps it's something random, Without even the slightest clue.

As I run on empty, My sight starts to fade, I feel so cold, I can't keep up the charade. I want to collapse to the ground, In the most spectacular of fashion, So they might say I died, Just how I lived, with passion. You never did understand, The things that I'd said, Hell they barely made sense, In my own damn head. Perhaps in death, You'll finally come to know, That love isn't just a word, I'd chosen to let go. It was a deliberate strike, An attempt to show truth, It also was an ignorant play, By a man exuding youth. I never understood, Just how much I could harm, With the use of one word, Applied with lush charm. I hope you'll forgiv

When you look in the mirror, What is it you'll see? Is it someone new, Or a long forgotten memory? Do you risk it all, Or perhaps tempt fate, Gazing into the glass, In a contemplative state? Mesmerized or tormented, Captivated or let astray, When I look my eyes, Well they just can't look away. I like to believe the man, Who is staring right back, Is someone somewhere, On the same circular track. For maybe he'd smile, Or nod and bow, Knowing, I'd make it through this somehow.

My nose hurts, And my eyes fucking sting, Thanks to the stream of memories, And all the hurt they bring. The cat brushed up against my leg, And I frantically sought you, Hoping that the soft brushing, Was a faint dream come true. I searched for the toy, With which you'd always play, Thinking if I found it, I'd somehow see this pain away. It didn't smell like you, It just hurt me so deep, Knowing this bit of cotton, Was all of you I'd keep. I wanted to curse God, To call him a stupid moronic fuck. That he had no right to take you, That he had no right to make this my luck. Then I began to sob, To yell and cry, Hitting this door to feel, A

I feel like I'm walking Through a dark and dreary maze, Wear even the sun, Can't bathe me in it's warm rays. I wake up every morning, Wishing you were here, Praying when I look at the foot of my bed, You'd be somewhere near. I know it's hopeless, I know that you're gone, But I just can't help it, I have to leave the light on. You were something precious, Something perfectly good, I wish I could scream, Like a man in pain should. I know you were suffering, And I hope it's better now, Please my little puppy, Come back to me somehow.

My dearest dog, I cry for you, My lovely friend, You were my glue. Holding me together, And keeping me afloat, I cannot believe, I can no longer dote, Upon you like I used to, With treats and kisses, Your desire for attention, Is just one thing this man misses. I never knew I'd be so weak, Or that you'd go so fast, I wanted to get a chance to speak, I expected our love to last. My dearest pet, My loveliest friend, Forgive me for failing you, At least I was with you in the end.

From your beautiful hair, To the times you'd swear, It wasn't what you'd planned. I think something got lost, Or simply began to cost, More than I was willing to stand. I remember how you cried, All the times we both lied, 'Cause love is a one way street, You'd always wanted to win, When there was no competition to begin, This is yet another agreement we'll never meet.

There's this three letter word, That constantly eludes me, As if it's somehow blurred, A magical combination I can't see. Selling me off and out, Is something of which you're down. Making sense just about, As much as a crying clown. I wanted to fix the lonely, Save myself from all the change, Coming short and only, Failing to correct what felt strange.